This article is part of a series that will help you get a better understanding of anger management.
Anger Management Tips
Anger is a change in behavior designed to communicate to others "Stop your behavior immediately. If you don't, I may becone violent towards you."
In the animal kingdom, animals make loud sounds, if they are threatened physically. Often they will attempt to look physically larger, bare their teeth and stare. Humans can also behave in a similar manner when they respond with anger to situations which they perceive will cause them pain. It is a natural reaction to want to take action to remove the cause of these feelings of pain. Physical altercation without the prior expression of anger by least one of the participants is very rare. Because we have language, humans can respond to written threats and verbal insults that cause feelings of pain with anger. Hence we may not perceive immediately physical threat, but can feel pain psychologically. Anger can arise without a direct physical threat and without an actual other person being present. However anger should not make you lose your control. You should be aware that when you are angry, your behavior may improve but could worsen the situation. Hence you should learn to manage your anger. Normally when you are angry you can seek to reduce the strength of your feelings by actions that aim to distract you from the stimulus causing feelings of anger, such as counting to 10, taking a walk or ther exercise for some time, or talking to somebody else about your feelings. These activities usually slowly calm your feelings and after sometime you will not be excited as before.
Anger management tips will help you to achieve your goal. You should find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Deep breathing exercises, visualizing a relaxing scene or repeating soothing words like "take it easy" will help. To promote general feelings of relaxation, listening to music or performing yoga are also useful things. Once you are calm you must express your anger in controlled manner to the person who angered you. You can talk about your feelings with your family members or friends. You can discuss with the person who angered you to find out the solutions to the situation. You should think before you speak so that you will not feel guilty afterwards. Instead of feeling angry you should explain why someone has upset you and express your feelings in a calm and non provocative way. You should not bear grudges, but forgive the mistakes of others. Remember, nobody will behave like you want them to on every occasion. Sometimes others don't realise how their behaviour is affecting you. Humor should be used to release the tensions. But sarcasm should not be used. Practicing relaxation skills will help you to control your temper. It may take some time and a lot of effort to put these anger management tips into practice when you are facing situations that make you angry. So you must keep something with you as a reminder to step back from the situation and get your anger under control.
I hope this article provided you with the information and understanding you were looking for.
Brian Waybridge, the author of this article, learnt how to come to terms with his own anger and now enjoys positive relationships with his family, friends and colleagues.