This article is part of a series that will help you get a better understanding of anger management.
Anger Self Test
Anger is an emotion which is experienced by everybody. It is not abnormal to be angry. Anger is healthy until it is expressed in an uncontrollable way. When it is uncontrollable it may disturb your relationships with family and colleagues. This will have adverse effects on your life quality. Anger can be expressed assertively to get positive response from others and a better situation for yourself. If anger is repressed it is unhealthy but while to express it impulsively may give momentary relief it will inevitably result in negative consequences. So to learn how to change our angry responses we need to understand where the feelings of anger come from. A person could be angry at a specific person or event or anger may be caused by worrying about the personal problems. Memories or enraging events can cause angry feelings. The danger is that your feelings of anger will be expressed aggressively. In the extreme case, this could result in fights and the need to defend yourself if others attack you in response to your angry outburst. We can not physically attack every person or object that irritates us or annoys us. Norms of social behavior should be followed.
There are three main approaches to dealing with anger: - expressing it, suppressing it or learning to calm it. When you express your feelings in controlled manner but assertive manner and it is the healthiest way. It is difficult to do this. You need to know your needs, how to get them met, without hurting others. It means being respectful to yourself and others.
Anger can be controlled by simple techniques. Relaxation tools such as deep breathing can help calm down angry feelings. Breathing deeply and repeating soothing words to yourself like "take it easy" will enables you to reduce angry feelings. Practice this technique daily. Slow yoga and meditation is another way to relax. The other way is to change the way you think. If we could not do so then we have to check whether we have problems of anger disorder. To check this we need to answer some questions honestly.
This is the anger self test. Typical questions are as follows:-
- Many times a day you feel tense.
- You cannot always say what is on your mind.
- When you are upset you try to forget it by watching TV, reading a book or magazine.
- You are addicted to smoking to help you calm down.
- You have trouble with sleep.
- Many times you feel misunderstood or not listened to.
- People say you curse so much.
- You hurt your loved ones when you are angry.
Answers to the questions can be given as yes or no.
If there are positive answers to from 1 to 3 questions you could benefit from relaxation.
If there are 3 to 5 yes answers then you are moderate and need to learn more about your stress management.
If there are more 6 yes answers then you have an anger problem and you need to get help from a specialist anger management counselor.
I hope this article provided you with the information and understanding you were looking for.
Brian Waybridge, the author of this article, learnt how to come to terms with his own anger and now enjoys positive relationships with his family, friends and colleagues.