This article is part of a series that will help you get a better understanding of anger management.
Angry Child
Handling an angry child can be confusing and stressful for adults. Children learn most of their behaviour from watching the behaviour of their parents. In the past, children were not always taught during their childhood how to deal with anger as a fact of life. It was believed that to be angry was to be bad. The goal for parents is to teach our children that anger is not be repressed or angry feelings ignored, both in children or in ourselves. We have to accept that feelings of anger can arise and but children must be taught how to channel these feelings of anger and direct them to constructive ends.
We must allow children to feel their emotions. We should set a good example in front of our children by expressing our own feelings of anger in a controlled way. Because they are children, angry outbursts should not always be viewed as a sign of serious problems; they should be recognized and treated with respect. We must know what may have triggered an outburst of anger in our child. Sometimes anger may be a defense to avoid painful feelings, it may be associated with failure, low-esteem and feelings of isolation; or it may be related to anxiety about situations over which the child has no control. In childhood, anger and sadness are very close to one another and many times sadness is expressed by a child as anger.
While dealing with an angry child, we should carefully select our words and our actions should be motivated by the need to protect and to reach the reason for our child''s anger, not by a desire to punish. You should accept their feelings and suggest other ways to express the feelings. You should tell them what you expect of them. You will find countless opportunities during the day to make comments like "I pleased that you don't need a reminder to complete your homework". You should deliberately ignore the behaviour which can be tolerated. But the child has to understand which behaviour is inappropriate. Providing physical exercise and movement both at home and at school is as important as their behaviour. Encouraging children to see their strengths as well as their weaknesses helps them to see how they can reach their goals. Self esteem and positive image is very important for children. They should be shown that they are valued as young people. Parents are the role model for any child and hence there is powerful influence of parent's actions on a child's behaviour. Aggressive behaviours can be avoided by placing children in good situations. Children are often calmed by having a parent come to them when they appear to have a problem and expressing interest in their children's activity.
If you ask the child to show you the toy or tool which he is about to use in a destructive way, the angry child can be distracted and the destructive behaviour stopped easily. If you show affection then the attention seeking child iis most likely to stop the misbehavimg, and learn how to deal with sudden feelings of anger.
I hope this article provided you with the information and understanding you were looking for.
Brian Waybridge, the author of this article, learnt how to come to terms with his own anger and now enjoys positive relationships with his family, friends and colleagues.